Ethics

Does resignation equal absolution?

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(Dear readers:  I appreciate your patience and understanding more than you know.  As you have come to realize, a passion of mine is victim advocacy.  I have and will continue to use this forum to share information with you and hope that you will join me in that passion – seeking better ways to protect our children and our fellow citizens from degrading, demeaning, and dangerous harms caused by others.)

Does resignation equal absolution?

No, no, a thousand times no!

I read with interest late last night that MSU’s President Simon has resigned her position and I humbly offer this observation.  I am very glad that she saw the writing on the wall and took that step, although from her published written statement, it doesn’t appear that she gets it.

In my assessment, the following citation from President Simon’s statement reflects the crux of the problem with MSU and especially President Simon, and all those school officials who failed to protect the victims.  In her published statement, President Simon (2018) wrote, “Throughout my career, I have worked very hard to put Team MSU first.  I have tried to not make it about me.”  What an indictment of the harmful philosophy that is in place at MSU!  When the first complaint was made to school officials in the mid-1990s, the response by those mandated reporters made it painfully obvious that it was all about the institution, MSU.  It was never about doing the right thing.  There was no ethical leadership being practiced by those most responsible for protecting the young adults and children being harmed by the monster in their midst.

As leaders in our organizations and communities we have a perfect example here of what not to do when allegations of sexual assault, harassment, or abuse are made.  We know the importance of not only educating ourselves about the principles of ethical leadership, but actually practicing those principles.  Our children, our employees, colleagues, and others are depending upon us to do the right thing.  We can be a role model within our communities and our professions by working to secure the futures of our young people, families, colleagues, and employees by keeping them safe from the predators and the indifferent within our society.

The Face of Courage

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When we ask the question, who is courageous, it’s reasonable that our first responses would include such people as those in the military, first responders, humanitarians in dangerous places, etc.  But I learned today that the face of courage includes some very remarkable young women, the first among them being Rachael denHollander, the catalyst for finally bringing Larry Nassar to justice.  I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and humiliation Rachael has suffered at the hands of those who knew better and chose not to listen – just as they chose not to listen or even follow the law required under Title IX.  But thankfully, she found the strength and the courage to continue her pursuit of justice.  As a result of her perseverance, Rachael made it possible for more than 100 young girls and ladies to begin the healing process, herself included.

Rachael’s victim impact statement was moving, not because of the words necessarily, but because of her grace under fire as she delivered a stinging indictment of individuals and institutions who failed to protect the most innocent within our society – our children.  Rachael’s questions remain unanswered by those individuals who failed to comply with the law as mandated reporters, and institutions that continued to willingly turn a blind eye to the travesty that was happening right in front of them.  “How much is a little girl worth?”

Rachael – if I may respond.  Our children, our young people are worth the very best that our communities can give them.  We owe each and every one of you a chance to retain your innocence throughout your childhood years, teenage years, and perhaps even young adult years; an opportunity to seek out whatever life has to offer you in a way that contributes to your growth, positive experiences, and learning, all while being protected from the harms that can befall you. That’s simply what responsible and caring adults do.  What has happened to you and all your sister survivors is an epic failure – not because your parents and other adults failed to protect you but because there were some adults who made it impossible for us to fulfill our responsibility of protecting you.  Those adults and those institutions which facilitated the criminal acts of Nassar must be held accountable to the fullest extent of the law, both at the federal and state levels.  As Judge Aquilina said numerous times during the victim impact statement portion of the sentencing hearing – we have heard your voices and they are strong.

There is nothing that can be done or said that will erase or undo the harm that has been caused you.  What we as leaders within our communities and organizations and all adults can do is stand up and tell the predators and the facilitators that such behavior is no longer tolerated in our society and it will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.  Our children need to know with confidence that they are treasured members of our community and we will do our utmost to protect them from harm until that point in time when they can protect themselves.  Rachael, you and your sister survivors have done a good thing.  Each of you has started the healing or continued on that healing journey.  You have also made a significant impact in that we adults now know that we, like you, cannot fully trust those in positions of authority to make the right, ethical decision. We need to remain vigilant.  Thanks to each of you for your statements because we know how to improve our vigilant posture.

“…Tone deaf, unresponsive, and insensitive to the victims….”**

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** Cited from the statement issued by the MSU Board of Trustees on the fourth day of victim impact statements during the sentencing hearing for Larry Nassar.

If ever a published statement was the epitome of being tone deaf and insensitive, this certainly qualifies.  I credit the trustees for requesting a review by the Michigan Attorney General’s Office.  But that credit is tempered by their recent statement of support for the current president, stating that President Simon should continue in office.  That statement is, in my assessment, premature and misguided.

Perhaps a reminder of ethical leadership is needed.  Free of charge, here is a quick review of this concept.  Ethical leadership is guided by a profound respect for ethics (what we do when no one is looking), especially such ethical values and beliefs which protect the dignity and rights of individuals.  That guiding principle and such concepts as honesty, trust, and consideration, form the foundation for quality leadership.  President Simon might have been the right leader at some point but a hallmark of a leader is that when the proverbial stuff hits the fan, the one in charge takes the blame.  She was in charge and the majority of this travesty happened on her watch. On that basis alone, she must step down.  She can lament that she did not know what was going on but she had the ethical responsibility to know.  When she found out, she had the responsibility to do whatever she could to insure that the victims were harmed no further.  Her desire to remain in office cannot take precedence over the need for MSU to redress the harms done to the victims.  The Board of Trustees should immediately issue a new statement, acknowledging that MSU needs a new direction, one which adheres to the values of ethical leadership.  That statement should also acknowledge the impact on the victims.  Perhaps the trustees could express the hope that they can work with the victims to develop and implement changes that will insure that such a travesty never again happens at MSU or any other institution.

It’s about the victims now.  Let them know without a doubt that MSU is going to do take a new direction, one that is both ethical and moral.

The Time is Now

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It has been heart wrenching to watch the televised sentencing hearing going on in Michigan where Dr. Larry Nassar will be sentenced this week. But at the same time, I admire the emotional strength and courage of each of the victims who has come forward, especially those who have found the strength to speak up publicly. Because of their courage, the topic of sexual assault can no longer be swept under the rug simply because of the status of the perpetrator, how much money he/she has, which organization is employing that individual, and which university or college might be affiliated with him/her. For these victims, and countless others who won’t get the national media attention, their injury is all the more reprehensible because in many instances these victims did speak up. Here’s the problem – no one took them seriously until the evidence was overwhelming. Nassar is currently serving a 60-year federal sentence because of his conviction on child pornography charges. He is facing sentencing on county charges involving the sexual assault on at least eight different victims, charges set out in a plea agreement. As the sentencing judge has noted, the plea agreement was reached in part to give the victims some closure. That doesn’t mean that their voices were to be silenced and a majority of the over 140 victims will be heard at the sentencing hearing by that courageous and compassionate judge. One can only hope that the judge imposes the maximum sentence available under the law and makes the sentence consecutive to the current federal sentence Nassar is serving.
The time has now come to not only hold those directly responsible for sexual assault, abuse, and/or harassment accountable to the fullest extent of the law, but it is also time for us as a society to hold those accountable who facilitate the wrongdoing or turn a blind eye because it affects their bottom line or might tarnish their public image.
Our children need the security of knowing that we, the community’s adult members, will do our utmost to protect their futures, keeping them free from the horrific consequences of such conduct that Nassar and others like him foist on the true innocents. We can never give these victims back what was so horribly stolen from them. But we can reassure them that we will do everything legally possible to prevent other young people from being victimized. To the victims I say stay strong as individuals, draw your strength from those willing to listen, help, and support you on a life journey that was not your choice. You will prevail.

Ethics – Extinction on the Horizon?

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A few years ago, I had a friend give me his definition of ethics. Ethics, he said, is what we do when no one’s watching. Apparently the teaching of ethics has been lost or skewed over the last generation or two, if recent news stories are any indication. Are these stories an indication that ethics may soon be extinct?
It seems to me that we’re at a crossroads in this country but many organizations and institutions are also in the same position. As leaders in our communities and organizations it’s essential that we hold not only ourselves and our staffs to a high ethical standard, but we must also enforce a true zero tolerance for unethical behavior.
There can never be any question that a person who behaves unethically will suffer significant consequences, regardless of that person’s position within the organization. That includes us as leaders and role models. Leaders who take a “do as I say, not as I do” approach are not folks we want to emulate. They’re the wrong kind of role models and we need to make that very clear. Doing the right thing, the ethical thing, should never be something we have to stop and think about. It should be the first thing that pops into our head when confronted by an issue.
Ethical behavior shouldn’t be defined by whichever political party that person belongs to, either. Judging from recent disclosures, neither major political party has cornered the market on ethics. It’s up to all of us to behave in an ethical manner with each and every person we meet, regardless of race, color, gender, or whatever. It’s also up to us to hold each other to the highest ethical standard. Anything less will simply continue the bad behavior.

Civil Discourse – The Endangered Species

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If civil discourse from public figures and politicians in this country is needed to save the planet I, for one, will be making my final plans.  In recent weeks, the level of intolerance, personal attacks, and the lack of civility has reached an all time low in this country.  My breaking point was the posting by the attorney formerly associated with CBS who stated that she felt no sympathy for the victims of the massacre in Las Vegas because apparently only white Republicans attend country music concerts and she believes such people are fair game for killing.  More troubling – the sound of crickets from all levels of leadership in this country against such hatred and acceptance of violence against a certain segment of our population. Such tacit consent for hatred and violence does not bode well for any organization within our country, much less the country itself.  The silence is deafening from virtually the entire political and socioeconomic spectrum.  In my assessment, no one has anything to be smug about here because no one seems to be standing up and saying, “enough!”

No one, and I do mean no one, should be the target of such filth.  We may not agree on politics, religion, sports, or whatever topic, but each of us has the right to feel safe and secure when expressing an opinion on any topic – AND the obligation to be civil as we do so.  Yes, even those who espouse hatred toward an individual or group because of race, gender, etc., have the constitutionally protected right to stand up and publicly demonstrate how misinformed, intolerant, and stupid they really are.  But no one has the right to espouse violence against another.  And when such tragedies as Las Vegas happen, no one has the moral superiority to gloat over the deaths and maiming of hundreds of people.  That concert wasn’t about politics.  Plain and simple, it was about listening to and enjoying the music by a group of very talented musicians.

To those talking heads, political pundits, and public figures who publicly demonstrated their complete lack of sensitivity and civility – out of respect for those who lives were lost and those whose lives have now been horribly changed, if you can’t be civil, just be quiet.

It doesn’t take a crisis

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In a recent discussion, folks expressed their belief that it was sad that it took the crisis of Harvey to have folks do nice things for others. I’m sorry – I have to completely disagree.
Good people, kind-hearted people don’t wait for a crisis to help others. With or without a crisis, not a day goes by in this country without folks getting involved in trying to make life a bit easier for their neighbors. The difference is that they don’t broadcast what they’re doing. They’re simply doing it because it’s the right thing to do. They’re doing it because three little boys need a loving home and people to help them learn that childhood is not about being abused or locked away in the dark. They’re doing it because some young people made a poor decision which landed them on the wrong side of the law and they don’t want to see those lives thrown away, nor the lives of the rescued pups the young people are training with. They’re doing it because of their love for teaching and wanting to see young people learn the importance of art and music in expanding their minds. Race, color, gender, and all those other labels folks use to try to separate us don’t matter. Good people help folks simply because it’s the right thing to do.
The devastation from Harvey and Irma will pass. But the kindness shared between strangers will live on in the hearts of those receiving and giving those kindnesses. What lesson can we learn from Mother Nature’s latest show?  All of us are affected by the devastation. But we also know that a better day is coming and we all will have yet another opportunity to share a kindness with strangers.

Leaving Our Comfort Zones (it’s all for the good!)

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I had the privilege of attending the recent annual symposium of the National Organization of Victim Assistance (“NOVA”) in San Diego this week.  I was in the company of well over 1500 victim advocates who exemplify the meaning of being passionate about their calling to help others.  I was honored to do a presentation at one of the breakout sessions where I got to talk with many of the attendees on a more personal basis.  My participation in the symposium energized my commitment to seeing our grass roots endeavor through to a successful conclusion.

The conversations I had with many of those at the symposium confirmed one thing for me.  All of us, and I am definitely including myself in this, will need to leave our comfort zone of working in the background.  The agenda that has come together will demand our best effort even when we face challenges and potential setbacks.  Those events will simply be opportunities for us to excel.

Please join with me in this project.  I am confident that our efforts will be successful in getting the national registry of child abusers fully operational. We will also be successful in changing the way in which child abusers are sentenced – focusing on the harm that was done to the child victim(s), rather than what is expedient.  The time is now and the hard work begins today.

Let’s get started

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In the time that has passed since my last blog, more children have been abused and several more silenced forever. It is time for us, as leaders in our communities, to start the long overdue process to end this madness.

I now request that each of you share this blog with all of your contacts because we are going to engage in an online brain storming session to start our work.  Our collaboration begins with ideas on two important points.  How can we best make the national registry an effective tool, and how do we change state and federal legislation that will insure convicted child abusers are punished to the fullest extent of the law.  Another point follows from the last one – we need to have the most effective system in place to insure that people charged with child abuse are charged appropriately, especially in situations where a plea agreement is reached.  Each charge should reflect the seriousness of the harm caused the victim.  If a child dies as a result of the injuries inflicted, we need to work with victim advocates and others to insure that the prosecution brings the most appropriate charge against the defendant.  Doing this lets victims know that our society has their best interests in mind and the sentencing goals of specific and general deterrence might actually come to mean something.

My request for help in achieving this goal reflects my personal philosophy – If it truly does not matter who gets the credit, we can accomplish any goal.  Please remember the focus of our activity – to make the national registry effective, and to work with the criminal justice system to insure that those convicted on child abuse charges are not given a wink and a nod for their conduct. Children’s lives are at stake.

 

A Call to Action

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This mother’s day was very poignant in that I got to talk with my son and daughter-in-law, received a delightful gift, and got to share time with some little ones who live near me. The happiness of the day was tempered, however, and I ask you all to please bear with me.

A little over 15 or so months ago I became involved in the lives of three little boys who were rescued from a very abusive and deadly situation. Unfortunately, their three-year old sister did not survive her last abusive episode and her voice has been forever silenced. The physical and emotional scars suffered by her brothers, in particular the two older boys (ages 5 and 4 when they were rescued) continue to pose challenges to them. As we learn more and more about what they needed to do to survive, I marvel at their strength – knowing what I know now I cannot begin to imagine the depth of courage it took for them to take the abuse and continue to survive.  Thrive is a whole different story and all three are struggling to thrive.

A few days prior to Mother’s Day I learned that a dear friend’s extended “family” was enduring an unimaginable, devastating challenge as their two-year old toddler now struggles to survive the abuse he suffered at the hands of a trusted caregiver.

Unfortunately, stories such as these are all too familiar. But they need not be. As leaders within our organizations, our communities, our religious communities, and elsewhere, we have a moral and ethical obligation to stop this madness. Simply shaking our heads as we read or hear about such stories is no longer enough. We have a very effective tool available to us that was signed into law in 2006 – a national registry for convicted child abusers, along the same lines as the sex offender registry. It is codified at 42 United States Code, Section 16990. We have community organizers who do marvelous and wonderful things such as fundraisers and bake sales. Would it be too much to ask that we consider our children, especially those at risk, to be just as important as fundraisers and bake sales? MADD has been such a tremendous organization and a catalyst in getting important legislation passed which has focused the spotlight on drunk drivers. What if we created Mothers Against Child Abuse – MACA or whatever acronym we can come up that is legal and available for use? What if we use this new organization to help focus the spotlight on this issue and bring about even more effective state and federal legislation which is actually enforced?

What if we join forces with all the victim advocates and human services workers who deal with this tragedy daily and tell prosecutors and judges that it is no longer acceptable to hand out slaps on the wrist for child abusers who not only abuse their victim(s) but also cause their death? I certainly know that prosecuting such cases can be difficult for all concerned. But don’t we owe it to the children in our society the same thing we adults cherish – the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? If you don’t agree with me, tell me how you’ll explain to that abused child in the ER suffering from life threatening injuries that he/she isn’t entitled to a future. Someone please tell me how to shut out the sounds of a toddler screaming as the ER staff is working on them. Tell me how to tell a 3-year old little girl that she has no voice simply because an adult tired of having her around.

If you truly want to make a difference in the life of a child, especially those already identified as being at-risk, please join with me to end this tragedy once and for all. Our children deserve better from us.